You don’t grow a 14-foot-long mustache without picking up a tip or three along the way about the manliest of beauty secrets. You can’t just up and grow that type of lip tickler. You need a plan.

The BBC, bastion of serious journalism that it is, tracked down Guinness World Record holder Ram Singh Chauhan to pick up some tips on regular mustache horticulture. Here’s some advice from the fine Indian gent:

Once it gets long, wrap it around your face to sleep better

Once it’s long enough, you can drape it on your ears to keep it out of your way when you hit the sheets. And after it gets too long for that, just cover your neck with it like a scarf.

Treat it like John Travolta

By now, we’ve all heard about the movie star’s love for massages. Your mustache also gets Saturday Night Fever every night. Oil it up and massage it. And even get your wife in on the action, if she’s into that sort of thing.

Don’t shave it off just because others do

Facial hair goes in and out of style, so you’re foolish if you slay your nose ferret just because other dudes do. Just keep rockin’ the stache until it comes back into style and you’ll have a head start on all the other stacher-come-latelys.

Chicks dig a man that knows how to treat his face. The 14-foot lip dreads? Eh, not so much.