Pam Shaw, a 70-year-old cabaret singer known as “The Sexational Pam”, is a virgin who has sacrificed sex for work and for her beliefs. She adheres to a strict moral code and doesn’t believe in sex before marriage –where is the fun in that?- so she is looking to bag a “tall, dark and handsome millionaire” so she can finally f—.

“I feel I am ready to give marriage a go and maybe go to bed with a man,” Shaw told The Sun. “You are never too old for anything. Just look at Joan Collins.” No thanks. We’d rather not take a gander at Joan Collins.

Pam thinks she’s a catch, even as a senior citizen. “I think I look great, maybe because I’ve never been married or had kids. I’m fun and have bundles of energy.” While the performer admits that “I was never short of offers in my heyday,” she worked too much to settled down. She was engaged to oil rig worker in 1976 but broke it off upon realizing she didn’t fancy him and she entertained the thought of bedding a man who came to see her sing every night when she performed in Malta, but she wasn’t ready to settle down.

“I’ve never really been intimate with a man, just a bit of kissing. I had a sexy stage name and dressed sexy but that was all for my career,” she confessed. Art didn’t imitate life, as “there has never been time for me to get a man. I worked so much that sometimes I’d only have an hour’s sleep each night. I wouldn’t entertain the idea of sex outside marriage — and marriage meant giving up on my dreams.”

We hope she had some sort of pocket rocket to satisfy her urges, or at the very least, a Medic Alert bracelet between the legs.

“I’ve fallen and I don’t wanna get up!”