Sober Guy Goes Bowling at the White House, Scores an 80 (True Story)

The freakishly looking man pictured above is not a professional bowler. In fact, he's a disgrace to the game and his country.

That's my buddy Eric. We've known each other for 20 years, dating back to college when we were both starting out in the broadcasting industry. Wisely, Eric got out of radio several years ago and built a successful career as a public affairs specialist. These days, he works as a contracor for the Department of Energy.

He must be doing a decent job, because he was recently invited to go bowling at the White House. Yep, the White House has a bowling alley. Harry Truman had it built back in the 1940's.

Yesterday was Eric's big day and he blew it. Instead of pre-gaming with a few cold ones prior to his first toss, he foolishly decided to show up sober. He hadn't had a single beer before bowling, which we all know is a recipe for disaster. You can't bowl stone cold sober.

And, sure enough, Eric brought shame upon his friends, family and country when he bowled a score of 80. How does a grown man, who fancies himself to be a sports fan no less, bowl an 80? It's one thing to put forth a pathetic effort like that at the local bowling alley, but to suck that bad at the White House? Well, that's just un-American.