You’ve heard of hemorrhoids, but it sounds like a prisoner in Sri Lanka may have come down with a case of hemo-Droids.

While searching a 58-year-old prisoner’s cell, guards recently heard a cell phone ringing -- from the inmate’s keester. Boy, do we not envy the guard who had to confirm that.

An official made the whole episode sound a whole lot more eloquent than it was:

The man had concealed the phone inside his person. Unfortunately for him, the phone rang at the wrong time and guards knew he had a phone at the wrong end.”

The man remained in the hospital for two days, but was finally brought back to prison after the phone was plucked out of his posterior. (Are there specialists for that? Can you go to medical school to focus on portable 4G rectal detachment?)

Of course, we’re only hearing the prison's version of this tale; there might be a bit more, uh, backstory.