(Opinion) Stevie Nicks Needs to Date a Bald, Fat Guy

This week, Stevie Nicks made headlines when she announced that she has finally given up on men and dating. The legendary Fleetwood Mac singer has had her fair share of suitors over the years, including high profile romances with her bandmates Lindsey Buckingham and Mick Fleetwood, rockers Don Henley and Joe Walsh and even California Governor Jerry Brown.  However, there is one reason why Stevie hasn't been able to find true, lasting love...she's never dated a bald, fat guy.

As any woman who has ever dated one will attest, bald, fat guys try harder.  As Stevie once sang, "players only love you when they're playing".  Fat, bald guys aren't players.  They are loyal, compassionate and romantic partners.  As a lifelong fan, I would hate to see Stevie spend her golden years alone.  She deserves a man who will cherish and take care of her in a way that only a bald, fat guy will.

It's not too late, Stevie.  There are thousands of bald, fat guys all over the world who would love to have a Gold Dust Woman on their arm.  Before you swear off men for good, consider taking one last chance with a bald, fat dude.