Some people believe that nudists are comprised of the same type of moral scoundrel as perverts, swingers, and petty thieves. However, this is often a misconception. 

According to the Susan Weaver of the American Association of Nude Recreation, nudists walk among us every day. “We’re just the same people you sit next to on a subway, or at the library, or at the school board meeting,” she says.

The preferred industry term is “naturalists,” and the word on the street is that this society is more than just a bunch of naked freaks running around, twisting each others nipples and having wild orgies in the sand. Well cancel our membership application!

Apparently, nudists make up a $440 million a year tourism industry that includes a cornucopia of cruises, organized tours, and more than 250 clubs and resorts nationwide. That is a ton of money being thrown around by people without any pockets to carry it in.

Over the weekend, the first annual Nudist Expo in Las Vegas, brought together industry pimps and nudists from across the country showcasing a variety of naturalist products ranging from organic lotions and sun care to nudist real estate and naked Russian cruises – which for some reason we were mysteriously drawn to.

However, after speaking with a representative of the travel agency responsible for booking naked Russian cruises, we were reassured that nothing involving Ukrainian women and wild stallions actually took place on the cruise.

Incidentally, we cancelled our reservation.