Queensland billionaire Clive Palmer has commissioned a Chinese company to build a replica of the Titanic to sail between England and North America in late 2016.

Obviously, everyone’s first thought when the announcement came was, “Will it sink?”

Palmer’s answers weren’t exactly instilling confidence.

“Of course it will sink if you put a hole in it.” Uh… okay… He then added, “It is going to be designed so it won’t sink.” Oh, well, that’s comforting. Just when your heart rate comes down, he drops this on us, “It will be designed as a modern ship with all the technology to ensure that doesn’t happen. But, of course, if you are superstitious like you are, you never know what could happen.” DUDE!

The sequel will have the same dimensions as its predecessor, with 840 rooms and nine decks, but will be equipped with 21st Century technology along with on-board gymnasiums and swimming pools, libraries, high class restaurants and luxury cabins.

The Chinese navy has been invited to escort the Titanic II. Not to sound paranoid, but let’s hope this isn’t some kind of tactical strike. This sounds like the plot for the next James Bond flick… or maybe Speed 3? Worked with Speed 2, didn’t it?