The thought of committing ourselves to one lady for the rest of our lives makes us break out in a cold sweat while nervously scratching our junk. The scratching is probably something else though.

Getting engaged is a massive step for us men, because it means we have to grow the hell up and not call our Friday night booty calls when we’re feeling extra friendly. But when we heard about a jeweler over in North Liberty, Iowa, our balls remained itchy from natural reasons, but our case of the sweats went away.

Finally, someone understands our marital needs!

Harold van Beek is the jeweler responsible for coming up with the most clever deal in relationship commitment history. If a guy buys his bride-to-be an engagement ring worth at least $1,999, he gets a free rifle as a door prize, because every guy about to take the plunge needs a gun!

Van Beek says he wanted to “do something for the boy who doesn’t like to hunt for diamonds but likes to hunt for deer.” Interesting claim, jewelry man.

Want to get in on the gun n’ ring steal of a deal? Make your way out to Iowa by the end of October.

It’s shotgun wedding, ya’ll!