There’s carnivores and then there’s carnivores.

According to Geekologie, British chef Tristan Welch created a 28-lb. sandwich featuring 35 different varieties of meat! That’s not a sandwich. That’s a meatwich, designed expressly for the non-discerning carnivore. In addition to being an affront to vegans -but who cares about those brittle-boned herbivores?- it also begs a lot of questions.

First, how the hell do you cut that thing in order to, uh, enjoy a hunk? That’s to say nothing of how quickly you’ll hit the toilet after consuming a portion of it. Also, there’s no room for condiments. What about the mayo or mustard or oil, vinegar and oregano?

Below is the list of contents between those two slices o’ bread.

120g Ndjua

260g roast beef

120g boiled ham

160g Proscuitto

150g honey-roast ham

90g cooked turkey

155g cooked chicken

155g garlic chicken

180g smoked duck breast

120g cooked pork

120g roast ham

280g corned beef

150g German salami

150g Italian sausage

240g cured ham

80g French peppercorn salami

70g Saucisson Sec de Provence

70g herbed Saucisson Sec de Provence

360g chorizo

70g serrano ham

80g pastrami

140g pancetta

150g bacon

70g garlic salami

70g Italian salami

80g dry-cured Proscuitto

380g Bratwurst sausage

150g breaded ham

100g Mortadella

100g Speck

150 Parma ham

65g Jambon Iberico de Bellota

140g Finocchiona

70g wild boar pork salami

100g smoked venison

250g beetroot, sliced

110g assorted salad leaves

1 large red onion, sliced into rings

680g gherkins, sliced

1 large loaf of bread

Welch created the sub for the debut of ‘Man v. Food’ on the U.K. version of The Food Network. And they say Americans are gluttonous.