Emerald Catron has written for Asylum, Lemondrop, MyDaily and Daily Fill. She is one half of rap duo Dem Shortybooz and is a comedic performer around NYC. Follow her on Twitter @emeraldcatron
Emerald Catron
Watch Seth MacFarlane’s 2013 Oscars Opening Monologue
Here it is. The bit that puts Seth MacFarlane either on a course to success or so many hours of suck. William Shatner seemed like an ... odd choice, but maybe it's a sign that this is just the beginning of a four-hour episode of 'Family Guy.'
Cheerleader Makes Unbelievable Half Court Shot
The internet has been on a roll with the half court shot videos lately. Still, in terms of impressiveness, this one is going to be pretty hard to beat. It's hard enough to sink a shot from half court, but this cheerleader also did some fancy gymnastics stuff first...
YouTube Hair Tutorial Goes Terribly Wrong
Hopefully anybody who's tempted to watch this for actual advice watches all the way through first, rather than just follow along.
10 Vintage Oscar Moments
We've got some guesses as to what's going to happen at the Oscars this Sunday. Nick Nolte's already told us about his pet crow, so we're guessing it's just going to be women wearing insanely expensive, unnecessarily frilly, sparkly dresses giving canned answers and men in tuxedos posing for cameras.
10 Dumb Tweets About Kurt Cobain for His Birthday
Ugh, come on people. Kurt Cobain is trending pretty hard on Twitter today, since it's his birthday, but we doubt the authenticity of some of these "fans." Here are some dumb, dumb tweets dedicated to Cobain on his birthday. (We left out the twenty gazillion tweets of the quote "Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are," because it's depressing how people aren
Oscar Fever Movies We’re Super Embarrassed By Now
The Academy Awards are this Sunday, and people are placing bets and getting generally riled up about who will be taking home Oscars. If time has taught us anything, however, it's that it's best to keep your cool this time of year, because in like 10 years you are going to be seriously embarrassed about that 'American Beauty' movie poster you had in your bedroom in high school...
This Is What Happens When You Drink 20 Year Old Crystal Pepsi
You know what? Good. We want this guy to puke. He calls himself LA Beast and thinks a shirt that says "SWAG SWAG SWAG" is cool. The only reason we wouldn't want him to puke is that he has a whole YouTube channel that is just footage of him subjecting himself to "Xtreme" food challenges that ultimately result in barf, so we suspect he might actually enjoy throwing up...
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The Best Valentine’s Day TV Episodes Ever
Say what you want to about Valentine's Day, it is an excuse to buy a three pound box of chocolates and a double-sized bottle of white wine and not have to share it with anybody. But what to do while you're picking through your Whitman's Sampler and pouring yourself Texas-sized glasses of pinot grigio...
Kai the Hatchet-Wielding Hitchhiker Has a Weird New Song
It's everybody's favorite hero hitchhiker Kai, the hatchet-wielding head smasher! Only this time instead of smashing skulls, he's playing a guitar, which is significantly less terrifying, but equally entertaining, it turns out.
Puppy’s Tongue Get Bitten in Video of World’s Worst Petkeeper
We aren't sure what the best part of this video is. Is it when the monkey tries to eat the bird's head? Is it when the turtle bites the puppy's tongue? Is it when we got to write those two sentences because of this video? It's hard to say. All we know is never EVER put that many species on a table that small...
The Worst Valentine’s Day Gifts on the Web
If you're feeling a little pressure to impress this Valentine's Day, let us lend you a hand. Here are some things you DEFINITELY SHOULD NOT BUY. So just cross those right off your list of gift ideas.
Jokesters Prank Unsuspecting Bystanders With Phony Drug Deals
There's nothing quite so funny as watching people who think they're about to be implicated in misdemeanor-level crime. And these pranksters know it.