The Midnight Writer is a freelance writer and contributor to popular websites and magazines. He's written three humor books and often writes while under the influence. Under the influence of what, he will not say.
In the heat of argument, people sometimes say some dumb things. For example, I once got in an disagreement with a coworker and told him that I was going to piss in his coffee. I didn't mean to say that. I meant to say "in his desk drawer" but it was all cleared up the next day when he reached into his desk drawer. He was so surprised he spit out the cup of piss I made him!
It was, by far, the largest clump of nose hair thine eyes had seen in the flesh. A county fair worthy thatch of hair protruding out the left nostril, like weeds who had found a small sidewalk crack out of which to flourish. It was mesmerizing, snow white, and honestly I couldn't stop since he boarded the train.
You can't take it with you. Isn't that the expression people always use when they want your stuff after you drop dead? Mr. Allen Swift knew he couldn't take his 1928 Rolls-Royce Piccadilly P1 Roadster with him to the afterlife, but he made sure it was well taken care of after they tossed him into the ground.
Individually, the interns were all pretty nice guys. A little juvenile, sure, but tolerable for the most part. Put them all at a conference table in a professional setting, though, and it was like assembling lazy intern Voltron -- Each khaki-panted part sliding onto the next to create one massive jerk...
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